I have two holes in my heart!
One is a PFO in my actual heart.
One is in my lack of confidence in the Lord.
ONE LEAK IS CRITICAL!
...the one that shows lack of confidence in the Lord!
I have wavered once again in my faith of God's promises which have given way to FEAR.
As God always knows what I need...He led me to a study this morning on Exodus where the theme is deliverance.
With debilitating pain that put me back in bed for the past several days, plus other unsettled issues (you know, life that happens when you're trying to live life?!) --then on top of that, news that I have the same heart defects that resulted in a seemingly random stroke in my younger sister 10 weeks ago.... (more TBD).
....I fell towards the murky pit.
BUT WAIT; where did the Joy and Confidence I've been preaching go?
I stink. I suck. I am nothing.
That's the foothold the devil tried to slip his little slimy foot into. The devil knows that depression is a weakness for me.
But as my amazing God has promised to lead me to the land of milk and honey... (oh, how that sounds so soothing) He showed me ways out. He heard my cries, He heard and He saw my suffering. So as the years went by and I chose to be obedient to Him, the Holy Spirit now speaks to me and leads me to better pastures.
He sent from above, He took me;
He drew me out of many waters.
In my past I would wallow in self pity.
Sit in the dark.
Wallow.
Poor me.
NO MORE.
THIS TIME:
I read the bible
I talked to God
I watched a sermon on TV
I planned a funny movie date with the kids
I ate something healthy
I prayed for others
I turned the lights on
Quick cool story about praying for another:
Upon real desperation and being besides myself in what to do about the pain, medications NOT working, nothing at all working....
I sought God as I have learned that He is the ONLY way!
Often I use this time to pray for many and all friends and family and more. It's way more productive than wallowing in pain and it's just better to think of others.
As the Holy Spirit guides me, this time for some reason I felt led to pray for ONE friend. One I have never met. She was in my heart. After earnestly praying for her and her situation for a LONG time...
MY TREMORS STOPPED FOR ONE HOUR!!
The relief was unspeakable and the peace was unexplainable. All the Glory to God!
It is only by God's grace that He gives me opportunity again and again and again to have faith in Him.
HOT questions to me:
When I felt ill plus found out unsettling news...
No and No. DANG IT.
But God is a God of second and third and fourth chances..
and I'm thanking Him for that daily!
...and I will be diligent in keeping faithful and obedient to Him.
Because I love Him.
So today, I count it all joy that I am put to the test. And that my trials are becoming progressively more intense.
1 Peter 1:7 NKJV
One is a PFO in my actual heart.
One is in my lack of confidence in the Lord.
ONE LEAK IS CRITICAL!
...the one that shows lack of confidence in the Lord!I have wavered once again in my faith of God's promises which have given way to FEAR.
As God always knows what I need...He led me to a study this morning on Exodus where the theme is deliverance.
With debilitating pain that put me back in bed for the past several days, plus other unsettled issues (you know, life that happens when you're trying to live life?!) --then on top of that, news that I have the same heart defects that resulted in a seemingly random stroke in my younger sister 10 weeks ago.... (more TBD).
....I fell towards the murky pit.
BUT WAIT; where did the Joy and Confidence I've been preaching go?
I stink. I suck. I am nothing.
That's the foothold the devil tried to slip his little slimy foot into. The devil knows that depression is a weakness for me.But as my amazing God has promised to lead me to the land of milk and honey... (oh, how that sounds so soothing) He showed me ways out. He heard my cries, He heard and He saw my suffering. So as the years went by and I chose to be obedient to Him, the Holy Spirit now speaks to me and leads me to better pastures.
He sent from above, He took me;
He drew me out of many waters.
He delivered me from my strong enemy,
From those who hated me,
For they were too strong for me.
From those who hated me,
For they were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
But the Lord was my support.
But the Lord was my support.
He also brought me out into a broad place;
He delivered me because He delighted in me.
He delivered me because He delighted in me.
Psalm 18: 16-19 NKJV
Sit in the dark.
Wallow.
Poor me.
NO MORE.
THIS TIME:
I read the bible
I talked to God
I watched a sermon on TV
I planned a funny movie date with the kids
I ate something healthy
I prayed for othersI turned the lights on
Quick cool story about praying for another:
Upon real desperation and being besides myself in what to do about the pain, medications NOT working, nothing at all working....
I sought God as I have learned that He is the ONLY way!
Often I use this time to pray for many and all friends and family and more. It's way more productive than wallowing in pain and it's just better to think of others.
As the Holy Spirit guides me, this time for some reason I felt led to pray for ONE friend. One I have never met. She was in my heart. After earnestly praying for her and her situation for a LONG time...
MY TREMORS STOPPED FOR ONE HOUR!!
The relief was unspeakable and the peace was unexplainable. All the Glory to God!
It is only by God's grace that He gives me opportunity again and again and again to have faith in Him.
Hear my cry, O God;
Attend to my prayer.
From the end of the earth I will cry to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For You have been a shelter for me,
HOT questions to me:
When I felt ill plus found out unsettling news...
Did I rejoice in the opportunity to see how God was growing me?
Did I run to God first, to ask Him what to do?
No and No. DANG IT.
But God is a God of second and third and fourth chances..
and I'm thanking Him for that daily!
...and I will be diligent in keeping faithful and obedient to Him.
Because I love Him.
Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah the second time, saying, “Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and preach to it the message that I tell you.”Jonah 3:1-2
So today, I count it all joy that I am put to the test. And that my trials are becoming progressively more intense.
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.
But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
James 1:2-4 NKJV
Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him,
On those who hope in His mercy,
to deliver their soul from death,
And to keep them alive in famine. Psalm 33: 18-19 NKJV
It is a new day!
This is the day the Lord has made;We will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24 NKJV
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