I WAS BLOWN AWAY
My fun, excellent day went from blessing after blessing after blessing to.......downhill and bad and back in bed. Dang-it! It's almost worse to be teased like that. UUUGGGHHH!
I'll admit I was struggling during the day. The level of discomfort is always different but invariably there. The level of tolerance really is the question: Outing? Puttering around the house getting stuff done? Sitting on porch to rest? Laying in bed? Hospital? But the fun outweighed it all for the better part of the day!! We went to a farm and enjoyed the day as a family. Not much better than that!
THEN IT CHANGED
It came on suddenly. No that's a lie. In hindsight there were warnings. Me, I'm very good at pressing on despite warnings. But that level 7-8 abdominal pain that kept me down for 7-8 weeks, made me lose 20 lbs, egging on ridiculous tests and procedures and ER visits (where by the way they found nothing-good news! I'm fine! Go figure.) was back with a vengeance. Here we go again-collect the kids quickly, go home. Done this, been there. Debate ER first. But at this rate, they will just give me Morphine. I''m choosing no to that. Everyone is overly concerned, that makes me sad. I desperately want my kids and family to see that this is the norm right now. Not that big of a deal. A huge gift to me would be to continue on!! Have fun!! I hate it when I ruin fun! Be joyous and thankful that I got to even go!! And count all our abundant blessings. That's what I want. Unfortunately, when the physical pain is visual, it's much harder for anyone to do that.
HERE IS MY PRAYER FOR MY FAMILY
...if we are careful for NOTHING, GIVE THANKS in all things, and PRAY about everything-we will experience the INEXPRESSIBLE PEACE OF GOD. John Courson
This is what I have been experiencing for a good while. It's so amazingly incredible that I've actually been accused of faking being happy...REALLY??!! People don't understand it. It's not normal and the world doesn't get it. That is the power of God. IT ONLY HAPPENS THROUGH HIM. You can't even comprehend it. That's why we have faith not by sight!
It doesn't mean I don't struggle. It doesn't mean I don't get sad, upset or scared. But all of that is of human flesh. But when I do feel these things, God helps me. In all things. I can go to him anywhere I am. I can pray to him while talking with someone and they'll never know, or I can fall on my knees alone. Even when I don't understand. I have faith.
Be carefree for nothing...Phillipians 4:7NKJV
Explanation: Carefree during those times was translated as BE FULL OF CARE ABOUT NOTHING!!
So here's the plan....God gave it to us-He didn't leave us hanging....!! He loves us too much!!
But in Everything by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving, let your Requests be known to God. Phillipians 4:7 NKJV
Supplication: the action of asking or begging for something earnestly or humbly.
HERE'S THE CRAZY GOOD PART
We got in the car. My loved ones helped me prepare my puke bag, warm seat, makeshift pillow. I got as comfortable one could get while in serious pain. It was a one hour drive home. (We did find really cool pumpkins though. It's late. My mind wonders.) It was quiet. AWKWARD quiet. Momma's sick, AGAIN. I hate it. Finally they put Hillsong on the CD. As I wiggled around in pain. Joints on fire. Pending migraine. (My list is never short), I started praying for strength. Then in the blink of an eye, I switched it over to praying for everyone I know. Jeash; the list is long! I laid my head on the door window on my jacket, my head facing up against the window.
GET READY, HERE IS COMES
Without at first realizing, like a slow warm and golden honey being gently drizzled over me the sun shone down on my face as it was patiently setting. The warmth and comfort was like Jesus holding my hand. I was strangely but uniquely overwhelmed. The pain remained the same, but the comfort was overwhelming. If you knew me, you'd know the sun triggers flare-ups and rash, I can' be in the sun anymore. But God clearly made me know that it was gonna be OK. He kissed me on the forehead. He held me. It was indescribable. I wept like a young child. I no longer want milk. I want food. What a gift. My ultimate blessing of the day.
I feel blessed that I can suffer for Christ and give God all the glory!
That took a long time coming for me. I've been in pain since I was 16.
Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator.1 Peter 4:19 NKJV
“Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:12 NKJV
WE ALL SUFFER
Not just me! Whether it be depression, addiction, illness, dysfunction, sin, and holy cow the list goes on. This is a fallen world. We ALL hurt! When I finally, finally seeked God earnestly several years ago, that's when my mind blowing blessings of joy rolled in! It is indescribable. I AM HAPPIER, MORE JOYFUL and sicker than I ever was before. PRAISE GOD.
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 NKJV
Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows…
Isaiah 53:4 NKJV
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:15-16 NIV
LAST THOUGHTS
Obviously I'm up writing this, be it at 4am. So praise God, the pain is not constant! We'll see what's in store for this week! Please pray for our family and baby sister who is having a PFO Closure on Tuesday due to a stroke in August.
Be a blessing today.
PLEASE: Help me out and leave comments to let me know how I'm doing? I'm not looking for compliments. I just wish to be held accountable. Thoughts, constructive criticism (in LOVE for goodness sake!) all help me to stay on track giving ALL THE GLORY TO GOD!
My fun, excellent day went from blessing after blessing after blessing to.......downhill and bad and back in bed. Dang-it! It's almost worse to be teased like that. UUUGGGHHH!
I'll admit I was struggling during the day. The level of discomfort is always different but invariably there. The level of tolerance really is the question: Outing? Puttering around the house getting stuff done? Sitting on porch to rest? Laying in bed? Hospital? But the fun outweighed it all for the better part of the day!! We went to a farm and enjoyed the day as a family. Not much better than that!
THEN IT CHANGED
It came on suddenly. No that's a lie. In hindsight there were warnings. Me, I'm very good at pressing on despite warnings. But that level 7-8 abdominal pain that kept me down for 7-8 weeks, made me lose 20 lbs, egging on ridiculous tests and procedures and ER visits (where by the way they found nothing-good news! I'm fine! Go figure.) was back with a vengeance. Here we go again-collect the kids quickly, go home. Done this, been there. Debate ER first. But at this rate, they will just give me Morphine. I''m choosing no to that. Everyone is overly concerned, that makes me sad. I desperately want my kids and family to see that this is the norm right now. Not that big of a deal. A huge gift to me would be to continue on!! Have fun!! I hate it when I ruin fun! Be joyous and thankful that I got to even go!! And count all our abundant blessings. That's what I want. Unfortunately, when the physical pain is visual, it's much harder for anyone to do that.
 |
| Blessed to have an outing today on this beautiful fall day! |
...if we are careful for NOTHING, GIVE THANKS in all things, and PRAY about everything-we will experience the INEXPRESSIBLE PEACE OF GOD. John Courson
This is what I have been experiencing for a good while. It's so amazingly incredible that I've actually been accused of faking being happy...REALLY??!! People don't understand it. It's not normal and the world doesn't get it. That is the power of God. IT ONLY HAPPENS THROUGH HIM. You can't even comprehend it. That's why we have faith not by sight!
For we walk by faith, not by sight.2 Corinthians 5:7 NKJV
It doesn't mean I don't struggle. It doesn't mean I don't get sad, upset or scared. But all of that is of human flesh. But when I do feel these things, God helps me. In all things. I can go to him anywhere I am. I can pray to him while talking with someone and they'll never know, or I can fall on my knees alone. Even when I don't understand. I have faith.
Be carefree for nothing...Phillipians 4:7NKJV
Explanation: Carefree during those times was translated as BE FULL OF CARE ABOUT NOTHING!!
So here's the plan....God gave it to us-He didn't leave us hanging....!! He loves us too much!!
But in Everything by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving, let your Requests be known to God. Phillipians 4:7 NKJV
Supplication: the action of asking or begging for something earnestly or humbly.
 |
| Annual pumpkin event-missing kids! But thoroughly enjoying the ones we got!! |
We got in the car. My loved ones helped me prepare my puke bag, warm seat, makeshift pillow. I got as comfortable one could get while in serious pain. It was a one hour drive home. (We did find really cool pumpkins though. It's late. My mind wonders.) It was quiet. AWKWARD quiet. Momma's sick, AGAIN. I hate it. Finally they put Hillsong on the CD. As I wiggled around in pain. Joints on fire. Pending migraine. (My list is never short), I started praying for strength. Then in the blink of an eye, I switched it over to praying for everyone I know. Jeash; the list is long! I laid my head on the door window on my jacket, my head facing up against the window.
Without at first realizing, like a slow warm and golden honey being gently drizzled over me the sun shone down on my face as it was patiently setting. The warmth and comfort was like Jesus holding my hand. I was strangely but uniquely overwhelmed. The pain remained the same, but the comfort was overwhelming. If you knew me, you'd know the sun triggers flare-ups and rash, I can' be in the sun anymore. But God clearly made me know that it was gonna be OK. He kissed me on the forehead. He held me. It was indescribable. I wept like a young child. I no longer want milk. I want food. What a gift. My ultimate blessing of the day.
I feel blessed that I can suffer for Christ and give God all the glory!
That took a long time coming for me. I've been in pain since I was 16.
Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator.1 Peter 4:19 NKJV
“Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:12 NKJV
WE ALL SUFFER
Not just me! Whether it be depression, addiction, illness, dysfunction, sin, and holy cow the list goes on. This is a fallen world. We ALL hurt! When I finally, finally seeked God earnestly several years ago, that's when my mind blowing blessings of joy rolled in! It is indescribable. I AM HAPPIER, MORE JOYFUL and sicker than I ever was before. PRAISE GOD.
in·de·scrib·able
adjective \ˌin-di-ˈskrī-bə-bəl\
: impossible to describe : very great or extreme
NOW FOR MY CHILDREN
It is my greatest prayer, hope, wish and desire to:
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 NKJV
Watch your momma. See what she reaps. Don't just see the bad and the pain. See the joy! Know in your hearts that you can have it too. God promised us trials. There will be trials. Don't concern yourself with worry, at least not too much. It's human to worry- believe me I know, I'm positive you learned it from me. I wish I was better at raising you in the Word earlier than I was, but hey, better late than never...right? Enjoy the many, many great times we all share together and so often. We are so blessed to be close. Don't ignore what's going on. Don't stuff it. Deal with it. But invite God to lead you through it. Count your/our MANY abundant blessings daily. For they are MANY. (I'm not sure as a home school mom that I was successful in teaching you all how to count that high! MY FAULT.) Don't be afraid to talk about it. THREAT: Or I'll get the huge sparkly silver paper mache' elephant back out and put it in the living room! I am very impressed with all of my kids. You already know Jesus and at such a young age! PRAISE GOD.
 |
| Your joy is my strength Oh Lord |
Isaiah 53:4 NKJV
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| Late night carving |
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| Enjoying my FAT spoiled cat on a sunny fall day! |
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| Got to shoot today! But Had to stop-the risk of migraine trigger too big! |
Obviously I'm up writing this, be it at 4am. So praise God, the pain is not constant! We'll see what's in store for this week! Please pray for our family and baby sister who is having a PFO Closure on Tuesday due to a stroke in August.
Be a blessing today.
PLEASE: Help me out and leave comments to let me know how I'm doing? I'm not looking for compliments. I just wish to be held accountable. Thoughts, constructive criticism (in LOVE for goodness sake!) all help me to stay on track giving ALL THE GLORY TO GOD!
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