WHAT!
I have gained 30 pounds in 2 1/2 months.
My face is blown up tight like a child's birthday balloon. I have pockets of fat and yucky swelling in my neck. My face is so round and swollen it aches. I carry spare clothes everywhere I go because I randomly soak everything. The list goes on...and on.
I now fight embarrassment in public. People sideways glance at me. I can feel it. I am a sight to see after all. I'd look at me too. Normally I wouldn't care what people think. But this is hard. I cried because my favorite cat dodged me in the walkway.
I found this graphic to the left. WOW, nix the huge boobs, pierce the nose and add tattoo with the South African Protea and it's me. I AM THE POSTER CHILD FOR CUSHING'S. I've aspired to many things, THIS is NOT one of them! REALLY, REALLY SCARY. And if anyone remembers, I was on a high in the fall because I had lost so much weight and was looking good. A reminder to NEVER forget to count my blessings.
This is like some kind of cruel joke. On top of my health issues that no one can clearly diagnose... we have reason to believe that I now have Cushing's Syndrome as a result of the Dexamethasone.
Wanna get an even better chuckle....it's gonna take the better part of a year to get back to normal.
I cry out now...WHAT IS NORMAL. I no longer know.
I post this for 2 reasons.
1. To WARN you all about what prednisones can do to you before you go on them. I will admit the medicine got me out of bed and made me be able to eat. That was HUGE. I am being weened off of it right now though. That both makes me very happy but fearful all at the same time. Who'da'thunk that it would take 3-6 months to ween off of?! Now I must attend my daughters high school graduation in May looking like an Oompa Loompa elf. Dang-it!
2. God has got my back.
These past few days have been so gut wrenchingly difficult riddled in severe pain and discomfort, Yet Oh so Blessed with Gifts Galore send by the Lord! just for me and an overall feeling of peace and comfort knowing that God has chosen to grow me in order that He might use me...and I am so very excited to see how He is going to use me!!
Blessings that I have received in the past few days......
(no possible way to list them all!)
1. Playing Othello with my husband. Even though he cheats.
2. Sitting in the sunshine with my cat. It got that warm in January!
3. Unbelievable sunrise, a message from God to me. Then, unbelievable clouds!
4. Alone time with my youngest at Goodwill.
5. Husband made me lobster when I barely mentioned I was in the mood for it. He's takes very good care of me.
6. Enjoying my daughter and son cooking and laughing in the kitchen.
7. Creating my artwork.
8. I started a very good new book.
9. Watching my daughter getting recruited into the high power riffle club. (Don't ask).
10. Ice cream. I know people, it doesn't help the weight gain. Neither does the maple bacon donut. Don't judge.
11. People who have reached out to me to encourage me in perfect timing.
12. Hard pounding rain on the roof top during my clam bake.
13. My oldest daughter. She knows what I speak of.
14. The ability to get my butt out of bed even though by all measures I should be in bed.
15. Grace that my family is extending to me despite my MOODS.
16. LOTS more. LOTS more.
We called the doctor.
Knowing that my symptoms are progressively worsening we called my doctor. She showed concern. She immediately referred me to an endocrinologist once again at Duke. They showed concern so they immediately made me an appointment--Feb 17th. YOU kidding me! I told her I'll be dead by then. She recommended going to the ER might I develop certain symptoms that would indicate Adrenal Crisis that could result in coma or death. Wish me luck. No, pray for me. All information says the sooner I get help the better. Perhaps my husband will take me on a cruise for 3 weeks while I wait for that help.
Hurry up and wait.
Hurry up and wait. That has been one theme for me for the past 2 years.
Have FAITH in God's plan not mine!
This has been the other theme. I am DAILY reminding myself of that and consistently working on it with diligence and passion. My flesh keeps trying to come up with it's own plan.
I have gained 30 pounds in 2 1/2 months.
My face is blown up tight like a child's birthday balloon. I have pockets of fat and yucky swelling in my neck. My face is so round and swollen it aches. I carry spare clothes everywhere I go because I randomly soak everything. The list goes on...and on.I now fight embarrassment in public. People sideways glance at me. I can feel it. I am a sight to see after all. I'd look at me too. Normally I wouldn't care what people think. But this is hard. I cried because my favorite cat dodged me in the walkway.
I found this graphic to the left. WOW, nix the huge boobs, pierce the nose and add tattoo with the South African Protea and it's me. I AM THE POSTER CHILD FOR CUSHING'S. I've aspired to many things, THIS is NOT one of them! REALLY, REALLY SCARY. And if anyone remembers, I was on a high in the fall because I had lost so much weight and was looking good. A reminder to NEVER forget to count my blessings.
This is like some kind of cruel joke. On top of my health issues that no one can clearly diagnose... we have reason to believe that I now have Cushing's Syndrome as a result of the Dexamethasone.Wanna get an even better chuckle....it's gonna take the better part of a year to get back to normal.
I cry out now...WHAT IS NORMAL. I no longer know.
I post this for 2 reasons.
1. To WARN you all about what prednisones can do to you before you go on them. I will admit the medicine got me out of bed and made me be able to eat. That was HUGE. I am being weened off of it right now though. That both makes me very happy but fearful all at the same time. Who'da'thunk that it would take 3-6 months to ween off of?! Now I must attend my daughters high school graduation in May looking like an Oompa Loompa elf. Dang-it!
 |
| My inspiration was Bob Sorge, "God could have left Job alone." Video |
GOD PLEASE DON'T
LEAVE ME ALONE!!
The MOST important reason I write though is to let you know that:2. God has got my back.
These past few days have been so gut wrenchingly difficult riddled in severe pain and discomfort, Yet Oh so Blessed with Gifts Galore send by the Lord! just for me and an overall feeling of peace and comfort knowing that God has chosen to grow me in order that He might use me...and I am so very excited to see how He is going to use me!!
Blessings that I have received in the past few days......
(no possible way to list them all!)
1. Playing Othello with my husband. Even though he cheats.
2. Sitting in the sunshine with my cat. It got that warm in January!3. Unbelievable sunrise, a message from God to me. Then, unbelievable clouds!
4. Alone time with my youngest at Goodwill.
5. Husband made me lobster when I barely mentioned I was in the mood for it. He's takes very good care of me.
6. Enjoying my daughter and son cooking and laughing in the kitchen.
7. Creating my artwork.
8. I started a very good new book.
9. Watching my daughter getting recruited into the high power riffle club. (Don't ask).10. Ice cream. I know people, it doesn't help the weight gain. Neither does the maple bacon donut. Don't judge.
11. People who have reached out to me to encourage me in perfect timing.
12. Hard pounding rain on the roof top during my clam bake.
13. My oldest daughter. She knows what I speak of.
14. The ability to get my butt out of bed even though by all measures I should be in bed.
15. Grace that my family is extending to me despite my MOODS.
16. LOTS more. LOTS more.
We called the doctor.
Knowing that my symptoms are progressively worsening we called my doctor. She showed concern. She immediately referred me to an endocrinologist once again at Duke. They showed concern so they immediately made me an appointment--Feb 17th. YOU kidding me! I told her I'll be dead by then. She recommended going to the ER might I develop certain symptoms that would indicate Adrenal Crisis that could result in coma or death. Wish me luck. No, pray for me. All information says the sooner I get help the better. Perhaps my husband will take me on a cruise for 3 weeks while I wait for that help.
Hurry up and wait.
Hurry up and wait. That has been one theme for me for the past 2 years.
Have FAITH in God's plan not mine!
This has been the other theme. I am DAILY reminding myself of that and consistently working on it with diligence and passion. My flesh keeps trying to come up with it's own plan.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward
you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a
future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV
I cried like a little baby.
On Friday my body felt so very pummeled. I got up I think at 3:00 am. After my clam bake I set up my watercolors. Only to find that a rude and uninvited oil paint mysteriously came to the party and got mixed into my watercolors thus ruining 5 of my paint brushes! I sat and cried like a toddler who lost sight of his momma.. Now I can't paint either!? That is being taken away too? This was my first reaction. Getting myself back in order after a good jabbing cry session I got onto Facebook to find that a friend messaged me with inspiration. I told her about the paint brush incident. After lots of much needed encouragement She said, " Now go get yourself some new paintbrushes, you have too much painting to do!"
It's all about perspective.
I need to pre-determine my mindset and attitude. This is crazy, but I then walked into another room IN THE HOUSE and BAM, I had a few new (old) paint brushes. Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy. I can't let the devil sit on my shoulder like that! It's dangerous. So ahead of time I must decide that I will make it work! I will think outside the box! I will be OK even if I can't or don't have what I want.
 |
| Happy Birthday Simon! |
So Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief;
for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you
will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move;
and nothing will be impossible for you. Matthew 17:20 NKJV
So there you have it. I pray that you have a fantabulous day!
PLEASE:I Desire Feedback!
I have made a commitment to be honest and transparent. How am I doing? Positive feedback is ALWAYS good. But I also grow and stay real by your insights. So kind constructive feedback is appreciated ALWAYS. I seek to Glorify the Lord in all this. I am human. I don't always do it right. I have been called to reveal my journey. I have a burning desire to share my story and my daily walk with great urgency in hopes that even one person will reap from how I have received GREAT JOY that can only comes from the Lord!
I have made a commitment to be honest and transparent. How am I doing? Positive feedback is ALWAYS good. But I also grow and stay real by your insights. So kind constructive feedback is appreciated ALWAYS. I seek to Glorify the Lord in all this. I am human. I don't always do it right. I have been called to reveal my journey. I have a burning desire to share my story and my daily walk with great urgency in hopes that even one person will reap from how I have received GREAT JOY that can only comes from the Lord!
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