Yep.
The Dexamethasone is kickin' my butt.
Like a crazy wild woman, yesterday, I ran around the entire day being hot and irritated at absolutely EVERYTHING.
I almost gunned my go-cart in Target straight towards the man who stood, arms crossed, bowl hair cut, glaring at me in disgust simply because I decided to ram my cart into another grocery cart that was IN MY WAY. Hey, I couldn't get by! THEY trapped me in. It's not even like it was his cart I ran into. I could show him what that was like?! He wasn't even minding his own business. This was between ME and the grocery CART.
I saw him in another row, yeah, almost "hit," him by accident too.
Did I even do that?
Then I found myself fussing out loud all by lonesome while driving in the car at other drivers. I NEVER do that. I think I yelled at the Christian radio station as well.
I yelled at my daughter on the phone. Sorry sweetie.
I was even angry at the dog when she greeted at home. WAIT, I'M CRAZY ABOUT HER!
While trying to wrap gifts the stupid tape twisted and knotted around my finger almost throwing me into a tail spin. I threw the tape dispenser across the room. Yeah, something was up.
Last week my neurologist looked point blank at my husband and said, "Be really, really nice to her, this medication can make her crazy. It can really mess with her mind!"
I was like, Nawwwww! I'm actually doing really well! Appreciate that, but....not sure what you're talking about?! I guess it hit like a mack truck right upside my head yesterday I think at about 11:00 am. Six weeks on a high powered cortisone, now that I look at it, has taken it's tole. I have gained 17 pounds, I have a HUGE ridiculous chipmunk face, I get up 1-3 times a night soaking wet, freezing and having to change ALL my clothes. BUT, THIS MED is what is helping me to out of STAY out of bed right now through the Christmas season. So, wish me and my family and the random weird guys at Target good LUCK!
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| Today After 6 weeks on high dose cortisone's just call me Brittany from the Chippettes, a female Chipmonk! |
I practically got a doctors note;
Dear Family, Friends and Random Strangers in the Community,
With my permission this patient may freak out at any time. She may yell, spaz, hiss, fuss, foam at the mouth or just act plain crazy at the drop of a hat. Please be extra nice to her. Don't get mad. Don't respond angrily. Please be understanding. Stay calm. Please hold her hand and tell her everything is gonna be OK. Please bring her candy cane ice cream often. Perhaps even some mint tea and an ice pack. (Gifts would be a bonus.) Understand that her heart is in the right place. But the devil is trying to get a foothold wherever he can and right now it by way of her medication. PS. Keeping a clean house and toilet paper stocked would help her calm down.
Sincerely,
Her Favorite Neurologist
So, I ask... am I still responsible for the choices I make when on powerful medication?
Shoot. I still believe the answer is...YES. This MAY or may not backfire on me!
I am responsible for my actions.
Whether difficult or not.
Today, I will chose to be MORE aware of my surging feelings and need to throw things. Medication or NO medication I am responsible for my behavior.
Yesterday I messed up. But today is a new day.
This is the day the Lord has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24 NKJV
We will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24 NKJV
And today I will make a choice to lift people up. Regardless of how I feel.
(I'll let you know how it goes!)
HARD DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T DO IT.
I tell this to my kids all the time. Today, I tell it to myself.
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| Created for someone very special. Haven't given it to them yet. |
“See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil, in that I command you today to love the Lord
your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commandments, His
statutes, and His judgments, that you may live and multiply; and the Lord your God will bless you in the land which you go to possess. But if your heart turns away so that you do not hear, and are drawn away, and worship other gods and serve them, I announce to you today that you shall surely perish; you shall not prolong your days in the land which you cross over the Jordan to go in and possess. I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that
I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore
choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days; and that you may dwell in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them.”
Deuteronomy 30:15-20 NKJV
PRAISE GOD for a new day!
PRAISE God that He gives me choices!
PRAISE God He gives me second chances!
PRAISE God that He loves me no matter what!
PRAISE God that there are medications that can help me!
PRAISE God that my family still loves me!
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