I told God NO for 2 years.
How many times have I done that?
For 2 years He asked me to home school my kids. I came up with every reason why I wasn't qualified; I am an artist after all and no good at math. I might hurt them? It is now 12 years later and I have 3 in college. Looks like He was right. I used to lay in bed at night and wonder if I was wrecking my kids education. Hindsight, as my faith grew stronger I can name time after time that God led the way through the years. He is so good, as we have reaped ten fold. And in ways I would never have imagined.
First day of home schooling I blew up the microwave! Second day we went bowling!
It's a new season for me.
As one of my pastors preached; The Lord sometimes says...just sit at my feet. That is what I realize I am to do right now.
I have had so much stripped away from me.
And right when I thought I was getting to the bare bones, even more taken away...my hands are becoming so very painful. I drop things, I can't open stuff, my husband has to cut my food. It's humbling to say the least. The pain level is intense and progressive. I am an artist. I'm scared. And yet my faith is dominating. Blind faith is amazing. I don't think I've ever fully grasped it until now. It is soothing and comforting. For although this is scary for me and it's not easy, I find great comfort in knowing that the Lord is in control. He has a perfect plan for me.
His plans for me.
My favorite dog chewed up the feet of my favorite Raggedy Ann doll. I asked my mom to fix the feet. Look closely at the photo. NEVER in my wildest dreams did I think the way she would fix the feet would be to CUT THEM OFF!!!
Sometimes, a lot of times, in my mind there's only one way to do things. But God has ways and ideas that I could never have even comprehended or begun to conjure up in my own mind. I am actually excited to see what His plans for me are!
Who was that girl?
Sometimes I can't believe some of the things I've done. I wonder who that person was and how she accomplished so much. I also know that she reaped empty accolades for the works that she did. Now she reaps in knowing that she is worthy in the Lords eyes, just for who she is. She also doesn't need the world's approval anymore. What a silly happy relief. It's been sincerely freeing and wonderfully comforting.
Don't cry for me, be happy for me!!
It might not make sense on paper, but I'm happier, find great joy and am more content than I have ever been. Being in the word and getting to know Jesus, I know, has brought me to this point in my life. One of my children asked me why I am not a drug addict. Kinda funny, but actually, a really good question! Even now, I have good reason to seek drugs in my state of pain. My only urge is to seek God. He has gifted me with a distaste to displease Him. It's not by my power, it's by His power.
I crave to please Him and I love it!! I miss creating and doing the projects and events that I used to do, but I'll take THIS over THAT any day.
I might NOT get better.
People keep telling me that they are praying for me to heal. You know what-that just might NOT be the plan. Would be cool if I got better! But I'll go with God's plan. He knows what's best for me. And if this is His plan for me, I'll praise Him for it.
How many times have I done that?
For 2 years He asked me to home school my kids. I came up with every reason why I wasn't qualified; I am an artist after all and no good at math. I might hurt them? It is now 12 years later and I have 3 in college. Looks like He was right. I used to lay in bed at night and wonder if I was wrecking my kids education. Hindsight, as my faith grew stronger I can name time after time that God led the way through the years. He is so good, as we have reaped ten fold. And in ways I would never have imagined. It's a new season for me.
As one of my pastors preached; The Lord sometimes says...just sit at my feet. That is what I realize I am to do right now.
And right when I thought I was getting to the bare bones, even more taken away...my hands are becoming so very painful. I drop things, I can't open stuff, my husband has to cut my food. It's humbling to say the least. The pain level is intense and progressive. I am an artist. I'm scared. And yet my faith is dominating. Blind faith is amazing. I don't think I've ever fully grasped it until now. It is soothing and comforting. For although this is scary for me and it's not easy, I find great comfort in knowing that the Lord is in control. He has a perfect plan for me.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV
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| I want to be like my mom when I grow up! |
His plans for me.
My favorite dog chewed up the feet of my favorite Raggedy Ann doll. I asked my mom to fix the feet. Look closely at the photo. NEVER in my wildest dreams did I think the way she would fix the feet would be to CUT THEM OFF!!!
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| Polly licks my hands and snuggles me. Comfort from an unsuspected source. |
Who was that girl?
Sometimes I can't believe some of the things I've done. I wonder who that person was and how she accomplished so much. I also know that she reaped empty accolades for the works that she did. Now she reaps in knowing that she is worthy in the Lords eyes, just for who she is. She also doesn't need the world's approval anymore. What a silly happy relief. It's been sincerely freeing and wonderfully comforting.
Don't cry for me, be happy for me!!
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| Mural in Mozambique |
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| Global Missions Mural at church |
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| My life.... |
I crave to please Him and I love it!! I miss creating and doing the projects and events that I used to do, but I'll take THIS over THAT any day.
I might NOT get better.
People keep telling me that they are praying for me to heal. You know what-that just might NOT be the plan. Would be cool if I got better! But I'll go with God's plan. He knows what's best for me. And if this is His plan for me, I'll praise Him for it.
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Psalm 1: 1-6
Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
And in His law he meditates day and night.
He shall be like a tree
Planted by the rivers of water,
That brings forth its fruit in its season,
Whose leaf also shall not wither;
And whatever he does shall prosper.
Planted by the rivers of water,
That brings forth its fruit in its season,
Whose leaf also shall not wither;
And whatever he does shall prosper.
The ungodly are not so,
But are like the chaff which the wind drives away.
But are like the chaff which the wind drives away.
Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment,
Nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.
Nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.
For the Lord knows the way of the righteous,
But the way of the ungodly shall perish.
But the way of the ungodly shall perish.
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