My Plea to Those who Suffer with Chronic Pain. Good News! There is a Way to Fight this Battle!

When in pain this bad, a dirty little rat on my shoulder tries to convince me that I will not be walking much longer. He whispers that soon I will no longer be able to paint. Getting out of bed will be a luxury not a routine. I should go to drugs. Go to alcohol. Go to what the wold promises for relief. I should be number one. I deserve it. He tries to convince me that I should be depressed.

Funny thing is, I no longer get depressed. I don't believe those lies anymore. I still get sad. Even then I am able to pull out of it quickly instead of basking in my sorrows. I don't believe that the lies will become true. But even if they do come to fruition, God has my back. He promises that He will be by my side every step of the way. He has also promised that He has a plan for me.

For I know the thoughts 

that I think toward you, says the Lord,

thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 

Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV

The evil one will not go after the lost. Going after those who do good and love the Lord are the ones he wants. Every time I praise the Lord he launches after me. I laugh though because now I am strong in the Lord. I make sure that I keep in the Word though, because I know that it is only by His grace that I have not fallen.

I bask in His promises and they soothe me and lather me in silk honey, 

they put true joy in my heart.

For who is God, except the Lord?
And who is a rock, except our God?

It is God who arms me with strength,
And makes my way perfect.

He makes my feet like the feet of deer,
And sets me on my high places.

He teaches my hands to make war,
So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

Jeremiah 29:31:34 NKJV 

I've been going to doctors 

for 38 years to diagnose my condition. 

When I was between the ages of 12 and 20 the consistent answer from professionals was that I have typical growing pains. Within that time most doctors let me and my parents know that it was, indeed, all in my head. I should seek therapy. 

I slowly began to fulfill that prophecy. 

I started to believe it.

Between the ages of 20 and 30 I was diagnosed with the "crazy disease" and Fibromyalgia (although nothing to take lightly.)

It's often used as another "catch all" diagnosis. 

The perfect cherry on top was  being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. I was actually diagnosed with chronic migraines. I guess the many trips to the ER and a family history was enough proof at least for that issue. As the disease (I actually had) was progressing, 

weird things kept happening with my body. Doctors either said, 

"It is in your head" 

OR sent me to yet another specialist.

These symptoms did not fall into their specialty they always said."Just a wise warning;

other doctors will not find anything either." 

The depression deepened as I did start to believe that I was indeed crazy. 

After all, it was becoming true, no one could find anything. I knew deep inside my gut that something was wrong with me. But the depression was also deep. I was in a black hole because of other abuse that also  convinced me that I was unworthy.

 

Now doctors and nurses and random people ask why I am smiling or so happy when I am so sick. 

It is a joy to tell them about the Lord and all that 

He has done for me.

Today I am blessed to be an advocate 

for my daughter who is also sick.  

All glory to God that although she's also experienced mean doctors and the ones' who don't believe her, that I can be there for her. Being there allows me to comfort her and let her know that her family believes her. It lets me help her get through the trials having done it for 32 years. It helps me to help her in the

battle with this ugly disease. 

Best of all I am able to let her know through 

my experience that it is 

ONLY Jesus that can give her/us relief!

He can guide her through this journey.

I had my gallbladder removed because they could not figure out my stomach issues. Five different doctors told me that I have IBS, (often, again, a "catch all.") Many people have it, and it's probably because I am stressed out he suggested. Here, take this medication and this and this one. "Call if you ever have a problem again." Wait, hello-I did have a problem! I had several surgeries on my knee throughout the years but they made it worse. I've been accused of trying to get medications. At least now I have three doctors who know me. They know that I deny medication unless I need it. One even stuck up for me, get this, when a random specialist (who saw me once) called her to tattle on me. He revealed that I was trying to get drugs. Thank fully she told me about it and that she stuck up for me. Praise God for finally having advocates. Recently I also had insight as to what a lot of doctors must have been thinking. One doctor told me in confidence that I am a threat to arrogant doctors. I render them humble bringing them insight that they, in fact, are not the most intelligent people in the entire world. 

Now we are  persistent. 

My daughter and I no longer allow ourselves to let mean doctors give us 10 minutes to explain our entire history. Our records must look crazy now, having quit so many doctors. But we press on as we know that God is by our side. In doing so, both my daughter and I were diagnosed each with another disease, this past year, that we've both had since birth! Oh how I want to write 

every single doctor that hurt us a nasty letter. 

Instead, I pray for them.

In thinking back when I was younger, 

how much easier it would have been 

if I had the Lord!

I had convinced myself that I did have God when I was young. But I didn't know a thing about a personal relationship with Him. Studying His word was never taught in my world. I was going to church. But I wondered why God didn't help me. Now I know that those who keep His book closed and ask why God won't speak to them: 

are like people who claim they don't get mail, 

but never go to their mailboxes. 

I was convicted of this years later. 

Praise God once again!

I will love You, O Lord, my strength. 

The Lord is my rock and my 

fortress and my deliverer;
My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, 

my stronghold.

I will call upon the Lord,  

who is worthy to be praised;
So shall I be saved from my enemies. 

Psalm 18-1:3 NKJV

My Personal Plea to Those Who Suffer with Chronic Pain. Or Any Pain...

So many young people even children are being diagnosed with this crazy wretched disease. There is a way to get though this!  

Go to God. 

  

Abide in the house of the Lord!

Your battle will be much easier! 
There will still be seriously tough times, no doubt, but  
God will give you strength to get though. 
He will stick by your side always and bring you comfort. 
He will also treat you to little things in order to delight you. 

He loves you so. 

He delights in you like a perfect loving Father. Open your eyes wide. Be blessed. Be a blessing. A singing bird in a tree, a kitty cat rolling in the dirt on a sunny day, He will speak to you and encourage you in the little things that make you happy. 

A new rising sun each day in the morning is 

His reminder that joy comes in the morning.

For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for life;
Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning. 

Psalm 30: 5 NKJV

Go to Him, run now! For nothing will fill that black hole, except our Savior-Who is the light!