From the bottom of my heart
I want so very much to give you a gift.
I want so very much to give you a gift.
I would wrap it up all pretty yet sophisticated
with a touch of sparkly and a
simple but gargantuan bow on top.
with a touch of sparkly and a
simple but gargantuan bow on top.
After you swiftly rip the paper off and
glance inside the box you would find
the answer to everything:
glance inside the box you would find
the answer to everything:
GOD
Behold, God is my salvation,
I will trust and not be afraid;
‘For Yah, the Lord, is my strength and song;
He also has become my salvation.’”
I will trust and not be afraid;
‘For Yah, the Lord, is my strength and song;
He also has become my salvation.’”
Therefore with joy you will draw water
From the wells of salvation.
From the wells of salvation.
Isaiah 12:2-4 NKJV
MY PAIN
I spend most nights writhing in pain tossing and turning in bed like a rotisserie chicken just to find a comfortable spot that usually lasts for maybe 20 minutes at a time. All my joints hurt. But the searing hot and throbbing daggers in my wrists, hands, fingers, make me wonder if pretty soon I won't be able to paint or create artwork at all. My passion. Then I wonder how long Jason won't be able to hold my hand because it hurts too much simply when he touches it. Then I stop dead in my tracks and go to God. I have learned that although I have a fantastically supportive husband, fantabulously supportive kids, friends and family; that it is only the Lord that can supply all my needs.
My newest health battle involves my abdomen and not being able to eat. If you know me-I love to food! So I don't exaggerate here. I have lost 15 pounds in the last 3 weeks. You know how when you're on a diet or you know something will irritate your stomach and then you think to yourself- "Gee, that beautiful 3 foot high stack of nachos with extra creamy cheese, plus the works, plus extra jalapenos will be way worth the discomfort I'll pay later-I think I'll go for it!" Nope, not even remotely worth it for me-if I eat anything of substance, anything more than broth or 4 nibbles of tilapia with nothing on it-no butter, no spices, etc. I will vomit violently. Otherwise anything I eat at all I will pay with intense pain curled up in my bed in the fetal position. I don't tell you all this so that you will feel sorry for me. I tell you all this so that you will be excited for me. And because I want you to see that whatever battles you are facing that you too can have what I have: Great joy. Soothing comfort. Unexplainable strength and more.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1
MY SILLY DOCTOR
With Endoscopy, Colonoscopy and MRI out of the way my doctor calls to tell me
that it might be stress
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But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness … (Galatians 5:22). |
stress
noun \ˈstres\
: a state of mental tension and worry caused by problems in your life, work, etc.
: something that causes strong feelings of worry or anxiety
1978 to 2014
This is not stress. Something has been eating away at my body since the age of 12. That would be 36 years. I am no longer listening to specialists who aren't willing to think outside the box and spend a little extra time with me. While I do struggle from a certain degree of stress simply because I am human I wish that you would get to know a little bit about me and my heart! You would learn that yes, my world has been in a tailspin of endless family health situations and on top of that the devil is consistently trying to rock my world. I would love for you to take a moment and look into my world. Maybe even talk to my friends and family. When I told them you think it's stress they all responded with, "Obviously this Dr. doesn't know you!" Hopefully it would become blatantly obvious to you once you spent some time with me that where I find my joy, comfort and strength is in the Lord! See, when you have faith in what you can not see you would be crazily perplexed by how much less stress you have.
2 Corinthians 5:7 (NKJV) For we walk by faith, not by sight. I would go on to let you know, perhaps over tea at my house, that although I was saved 17 years ago it has really been in the last 2 years that I chose to trade in my countless, sleepless nights for solid-ceaseless prayer. I also started having daily conversation with the Lord. Along side of that I stopped lollygagging around with reading the bible here and there and actually started doing it daily and first thing in the morning. Then I would like to pray for you that you would gain a heart for your patients and show them comfort and validate them instead of treating them like a number. I used to let these falsehoods get me depressed when I was younger. My parents took me to countless specialist when I was young. They all said it was growing pains. Some said it was in my head. Chronically ill people tend to feel crazy and depressed. No wonder! However, receiving my strength from the Lord enables me to be an advocate for myself. It also gives me a heart for you; my doctor. Instead of hating you, as I used to do, I want your heart to soften and I would be ecstatic to have planted a seed in you that the Holy Spirit can then grow.
Sincerely,
Your patient
My my life be a reflection of your power and your glory!
EXCERPT FROM
"BE JOYFUL: Even When Things Go Wrong You Can Have Joy." WARREN WEIRSBE
Mark Twain was a professional humorist whose lectures and writings made people around the world laugh and, for a short time, forget their troubles. Yet Mark Twain himself was, in private, a man whose life was broken by sorrow. When his beloved daughter Jean died suddenly of an epileptic seizure, Twain, too ill to go to the funeral, said to a friend, “I have never greatly envied anyone but the dead. 1 always envy the dead.”
Jesus Christ was “a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.” Yet He possessed a deep joy that was beyond anything the world could offer. As He faced the cruel death of Calvary, Jesus said to His followers, “These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full” (John 15:11). Those who have trusted Christ have the privilege of experiencing “ful- ness of joy” (Ps. 16:11). Yet few Christians take advantage of this privilege. They live under a cloud of disappointment when they could be walking in the sunshine of joy.
PLEASE ACCEPT MY GIFT!
Everyone is on their own journey with the Lord, if even one at all. But my gift to you if I could give you one would be to take advantage of the privilege that God offers you and embrace the "fullness of joy!"
COUNTING MY BLESSINGS!
The bible gives us guidelines and rules for this life here on earth. When you work hard to follow what the Lord has told us to do you will reap beyond measure-despite your circumstances!! My great love was to be in Africa on mission. I can't go now because I can't walk without a crutch or wheelchair plus I can't travel that far. I love to cook. I can't cook now because of my debilitating pain and fatigue. I love to play family games at the kitchen table. I can't now because the crazy laughing we all do triggers horrific migraines that put me in the ER. I could go on, but I choose to focus on what I can do! I can sit on the porch and read enjoying the fresh air and glorious scenery. I can giggle and tell stories with my family. I can get around. I can enjoy watching my kids adventures. The majority of the time I can get to church and learn more about God and worship him! This list goes on and on and on!
Don't you see: I have more joy than ever-amidst the trials.
And all the glory goes to God!!
: something that causes strong feelings of worry or anxiety
: physical force or pressure
MY RESPONSE
Here's what I have to say to yet another doctor who used a catch all diagnosis for my stomach issues because they can't figure out what is wrong with me and aren't willing to go the extra mile:
Here's what I have to say to yet another doctor who used a catch all diagnosis for my stomach issues because they can't figure out what is wrong with me and aren't willing to go the extra mile:
1978 to 2014
Dear Dr. ____________,
Sincerely,
Your patient
My my life be a reflection of your power and your glory!
 |
| I recommend this book |
"BE JOYFUL: Even When Things Go Wrong You Can Have Joy." WARREN WEIRSBE
Mark Twain was a professional humorist whose lectures and writings made people around the world laugh and, for a short time, forget their troubles. Yet Mark Twain himself was, in private, a man whose life was broken by sorrow. When his beloved daughter Jean died suddenly of an epileptic seizure, Twain, too ill to go to the funeral, said to a friend, “I have never greatly envied anyone but the dead. 1 always envy the dead.”
Jesus Christ was “a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.” Yet He possessed a deep joy that was beyond anything the world could offer. As He faced the cruel death of Calvary, Jesus said to His followers, “These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full” (John 15:11). Those who have trusted Christ have the privilege of experiencing “ful- ness of joy” (Ps. 16:11). Yet few Christians take advantage of this privilege. They live under a cloud of disappointment when they could be walking in the sunshine of joy.
PLEASE ACCEPT MY GIFT! Everyone is on their own journey with the Lord, if even one at all. But my gift to you if I could give you one would be to take advantage of the privilege that God offers you and embrace the "fullness of joy!"
COUNTING MY BLESSINGS!
The bible gives us guidelines and rules for this life here on earth. When you work hard to follow what the Lord has told us to do you will reap beyond measure-despite your circumstances!! My great love was to be in Africa on mission. I can't go now because I can't walk without a crutch or wheelchair plus I can't travel that far. I love to cook. I can't cook now because of my debilitating pain and fatigue. I love to play family games at the kitchen table. I can't now because the crazy laughing we all do triggers horrific migraines that put me in the ER. I could go on, but I choose to focus on what I can do! I can sit on the porch and read enjoying the fresh air and glorious scenery. I can giggle and tell stories with my family. I can get around. I can enjoy watching my kids adventures. The majority of the time I can get to church and learn more about God and worship him! This list goes on and on and on!
Don't you see: I have more joy than ever-amidst the trials.
And all the glory goes to God!!
 |
| You can choose how you look at your circumstances |
Life is 20 percent what happens to you, and 80 percent how you respond.
It's a choice.
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