Just a Momma's Advice: To my precious sons and young men in my life.

Dear Sons of mine whether birthed by me, adopted by me on paper or not on paper (matters not),

ADVICE FROM MOMMA: TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT

Although I am not a man, I will attempt to give you motherly advice on being a good man according to knowing and learning from my husband, one of the most honest, Godly men of character that I have ever known.

GO TO GOD FIRST

Oh how I long to get this message across. I do know though, as people have told me this way earlier in my life upon deaf ears, that I had to be convicted myself in order for it to happen. Therefore as a momma, I will have patience and faith. Daddy and I learned many things the hard way. But as God is always good, together we have learned that GOD IS THE ONLY WAY. The sooner you grasp this the sooner you're life will have a purpose and you will find all the gifts that God promises when you are obedient.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Matthew 6:33 NKJV

BE BRUTALLY HONEST

I always considered myself honest, but I learned what brutal honesty was from my husband. And the funny not so funny thing was when he was a teen he lied. But since I met him (thankfully after the teen years!) I was truly attracted to his honesty. When you kids were little, one of you found a single dollar bill at Walmart. Daddy made that child march up to the service desk and return it without hesitation. That’s only one story of many. Not only is it biblical, it’s sexy.

Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord,But those who deal truthfully are His delight. Proverbs 12:22 NKJV

SPEND TIME

HEAR ME NOW. Get OFF the phone or ANYTHING else electronic or whatever makes your attention divided from investment in a relationship. Whenever there is an opportunity to invest time with the people in your life-GRAB IT. That includes in line at the store, in a hospital waiting room, in traffic, etc. These are fantastic opportunities, if you chose to look at them that way. Undivided attention strengthens relationships and makes that person feel valued. Anyone, especially a lady wants undivided attention. Look into her eyes. Don't let yourself be distracted. This will make her (or your friends, daughters, mothers, family or friends) feel that they are worth your time and energy and there is nothing more important. We are called by God to LOVE and to invest in relationships. When lying on your deathbed I doubt you will be proud of all the texts and calls you leaped across the table to get, often turning out to be a waste of time. Damage done...something else was more important. Not to mention I personally feel embarrassed. When the person I am with is on phone rather than with me. That's just the truth of it. Remember young ones, these devices are new in the world, and they are worldly temptations. They can definitely be used for GOOD, but also for BAD. You will feel accomplished on your death bed if your relationships were built and invested in wisely.

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21 NKJV

STAY AWAY FROM HOOTERS

Stay AWAY from pornography, Hooters or ANYTHING else that DEVALUE women. It will KILL a marriage. It is the devil trying to tempt you and break you. You will never feel good about yourself if you do these things. REAL woman have self value and have a good heart. Way more attractive than fake sex. If you have a problem with this as always FESS UP NOW and GO TO GOD. You are not the only one. Only with HIS power can you overcome. And here is what you might not realize; the woman who participate in these activities have very low self-esteem and are hurting most likely because they were hurt themselves. So very sad. You are only robbing them more by participating.

Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 NKJV

Imagine treating or viewing your mother or sister like that. You would be devastated if others did. You'd probably want to hurt them profusely. You wouldn't hear of doing that yourself....would you? Lift women up always. They need it. This world devalues woman in magazines, expectations, etc. It starts very young with girls getting the message that they need to be skinny, look a certain way, make men happy, etc. Very sad. Another note, only men with low self esteem looking to fill that empty black hole seek these things. ONLY GOD CAN FILL THAT BLACK HOLE. You must be truthful with yourself first. Side note: this applies to woman as well. Treat a lady like precious stones. Whether it’s your momma, your sisters, your grandma your friends or your wife, treat them like gold. Even if they don’t seem to deserve it, they do. They are a gift from God.

Who can find a virtuous wife?  
For her worth is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10 NKJV

WORK HARDER

...than people ask you to always. DO IT TO GOD'S GLORY. On a job, on the mission field, helping a friend, in your house, anywhere....always do MORE than you were asked. It will always advance you in life. It is just the right thing to do.

All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty. Proverbs 14:23

PUT DOWN YOUR PRIDE

Live daily to lift people up. Be open for correction. Admit when you are wrong. Take advice from those who are wiser than you.

Pride goes before destruction,And a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18 NKJV

NEVER COMPROMISE YOUR CHARACTER

Don’t worry about impressing the friends. You only need to answer to God!!

GUILT

Learn the difference between GUILT that God allows and GUILT from the devil. God wants you to do the right thing because He loves you so much. He loves you even when you sin. WHAT GOOD NEWS! The devil wants to whisper in your ear that you suck. Remember the devil will get a foot-hold anytime and anywhere he can.

If you are holding onto guilt and shame from your past, even if you were partly guilty for whatever happened … please let God free you from it.  It is a spiritual poison designed by Satan to kill you, my friend, and in one way or another, I can promise you it WILL, if you keep it buried, as Satan would want you to do. "Breaking free from the bondage of guilt and shame." By: Norm Rasmussen

guilt

ɡilt/

noun

noun: guilt

1.

the fact of having committed a specified or implied offense or crime.

"it is the duty of the prosecution to prove the prisoner's guilt"

BAD AND GOOD GUILT

Bad guilt — condemnation — is a sense that my thinking or behaving results in consequences that are deplorable. I am doomed to suffer continuing consequences that are irreversible and unredeemable. There is no hope of change for me.
Good guilt — conviction — is an awareness and sensitivity that my thinking or behaving is opposed to what God would choose. Conviction pricks my heart. I am troubled and disheartened until I confess my wrongdoing, turn, and agree with God that His way is right and best for me.

Surely He has borne our griefs And carried our sorrows;Yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities;The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:4-5 NKJV

Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. James 5:16 NKJV 

However, KNOW that God forgives you! SO very exciting!

As a momma who loves her children so intensely that words will never relay-I understand (and not even fully!) the DEEP love that God has for His children-it makes his heart sad when you sin, but not because he doesn't love you-BECAUSE HE KNOWS IT WILL HURT YOU!

"Come now, and let us reason together," Says the LORD, "Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool. Isaiah 1:18 NKJV

APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE NOW

You never know when you won’t have it anymore. One's life can radically change within minute. Never lose sight of that.

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born,
    And a time to die;
A time to plant,    And a time to pluck what is planted; Ecclesiastes 3: 1-3 NKJV

 

LAUGH A LOT

It’s all how you respond to things! It's a choice. This life here on earth WILL deal out some tough times. We gladly listen to the promises that God gives us that we want to hear. But he also promises us trials. Chose to laugh more than complain. It will just make things better. (Of course, don’t laugh at the wrong times!)

A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones. Proverbs 17:22 NKJV

Blessed are the people who know the joyful sound! They walk, O LORD, in the light of Your countenance. Psalms 89:15-17 NKJV

FORGIVE

HURT people HURT people. Once you have a heart for what breaks God's heart you will see that people hurt because they do not know better. Bitterness will eat you alive like hot red fire ants in your pants! It will also trickle down and effect others in your life. Once you truly forgive, you glorify the Lord plus are able to move on. Not to mention, a lot of people don't even realize they have hurt someone. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Jesus calls us to love and to forgive. If you don't understand, be obedient anyway. Like a loving parent that you might not understand what or why in the world He is asking of you - Do it anyway! I have held on to grudges and bitterness for a long time. It only hurt me. It’s very free-ING to forgive!.

“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”Mark 11:25 NKJV

STOP ALL EXCUSES

JUST STOP IT. STOP IT NOW! Excuses are excuses. Stop and think what you're reasons are for NOT making something happen and decide whether you did everything you could in your power to make it happen...or you are just using excuses. It's a choice. At some point (hopefully sooner than later) you will realize that you are responsible for your actions-no one else is and you will receive consequences accordingly. Some things might actually be your momma and daddy's fault. Deal with it appropriately, then move on. Blaming others makes you a victim. It's a choice to behave like a victim. It only hurts you. Of course, as adults we all still do it. But it doesn't empower you. It makes you lazy.

 

Seuss' Excuses: Motivation to Get Ready for Race Day

Training is out of the question today
There is nothing you can do or say
To make me gear up, put on my shoes
I've got those so tired training blues

Besides, my knee doesn't feel quite right
I think my goggles are much too tight
My tubes are flat, I have no spare
I lost the pump I use for air

My cleats won't clip, they slip and slide
There's just no way that I can ride
The roads are wet, it looks like rain
I may fall and hurt my brain. Dr. Suess.

	The lazy person is full of excuses, saying, "If I go outside, I might meet a lion in the street and be killed!"Proverbs 22:13 NKJV

THAT IS IT

I might have missed some good stuff. But that is what was burning in my heart to relay at this time. Perhaps as I learn and grow I will revisit and revise. 

Just know this...I am convicted to LOVE my kids unconditionally. I have been called to have many children from an early age...and my children have blessed me immeasurably. I love you.

This is truly how I feel..... I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.

3 John 1:4