Marriage and a Goat: We didn't have a clue.

MARRIAGE AND A GOAT

And above all these put love which binds everything in perfect harmony.Colossians 3:12-14

Toe Nail Clippings

When the toenail clippings are on the end table in the living room and the used socks are on the kitchen counter next to the fresh fruit there needs to be something that has you loving that man so deep that these things not only couldn't provoke you to argument or nagging, but are maybe just maybe almost a little bit cute...

The day he asked me to marry him!

We didn't have a clue

We weren't so smart. Although we truly believed we were. We were crazy about each other and crazy in love-no doubt-so we lived together first then got married. We essentially played house. We preached that it was no different from obtaining a paper certificate. Little did we know. We, did however, know for sure that our way was the best way. We even counted ourselves as Christians... without going to God first in anything that we did. Talking is way different than walking. I know now that God had us in his palm from the beginning. As God forgives and is gracious, he slowly guided us towards his good and only way and now we seek to put him first in our marriage. What a massive, revolutionary difference. All those issues we had for all those years and all the things we tried to solve our own way for so long and we wondered why we kept going around and around in crazy-making circles. Kinda crazy in hindsight. NO, really crazy actually. How I wish I could make the young kids these days get it. Gee, even the older ones. How I wish I could hand them the truth. Having a man by your side because you need someone by your side is so lonely and so empty.

Having a Godly, evenly yolked relationship is still very hard and lots of work.

BUT SO VERY REWARDING.

I apologize

I did so many things wrong in my life. One thing that weighs heavy on me it that I hurt the man I adore. When we were first married...and a good part of our marriage I was essentially depressed and self-centered. Once again...HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE. But that was a revelation that came way later. In rages I did things like shatter glass plates at the wall out of anger and raged in one way or another. I was diagnosed with bi-polar at one point. But I won't use that as an excuse. My behavior was my choice. My daily life was very much about me. Sure I gave him love notes and cooked for him and stuff, in a fleeting way. Only going the very next second to decide what I wanted or needed for me... I try to not do that these days, but it's still a battle for me. I also talked back to my husband and did not honor him in any way. Biblically that is wrong. I didn't know that at the time. I probably wouldn't have cared at the time. Even so just being human- wise...it's still so wrong. As ALWAYS and consistently for 28 years my husband loved me unconditionally. I used to yell out..."divorce me, I suck..." His answer was consistent and bold....DIVORCE WILL NEVER BE AN OPTION.

What makes me love him so....

It could have very well been the live billy goat that my husband carried across his shoulders through out the State Fair amongst goggling voyeurs all the way to our van simply because I wanted THAT goat.

Billy

It could have been the mushroom that was delicately tucked under a specific rock that took quite some maneuvering to get just because I had to have it.

"But if any man does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. " 1 Timothy 5:8

It could have been his endless support of my artistic "experiments," and craziness. Like maybe when he came home from work to find out that I kinda splatter painted the refrigerator and the phone, with brilliant blue? Or maybe the time I glued scrunched up brown paper bags to the entire dining room wall...

Maybe it's simply the endless yummy turkeys he labored over at Thanksgiving.

Endless time spent with the kids

Or maybe

It could have been the the many treks across the bumpy roads with the wheels consistently falling off the wheelchair in the pounding hot sun just to get me to a shoe store that I barely mentioned that I wanted to go to.

All the crazy mud events at our house (where my husband allowed me to tear the yard up. What husband allows that?!)

It could have been the 15 golden dollars that were delivered individually by various people (servers and store clerks he went to ahead of time) through out the romantic evening to celebrate our 15th anniversary-and all the other romantic well thought out events. (We are married 25 years now!)

Always patient with me...

Or his crazy ideas

It could be the way he starts sawing down various random trees with the chainsaw on our land when he gets stressed out. (Good thing we have a lot of trees.)

But see, here's the truth of it...

No matter how sexy and adorable that man is, no matter how many gifts he gives you, no matter how strong you think your love for him is....life is tough and it is real and there will be trials. I didn't say there might be trials, I said there will be trials. You aren't capable of loving him the way Jesus calls you too, without putting Jesus first. It's simply not possible. Sharing daily life with someone is a lot of hard work. Even when it's your favorite person. After the fun weekend get a ways, after the new furniture, after setting up house...(and these days) after posting it on Face Book and social media and showing all the glorious ways YOUR marriage is the best....real life starts happening. The bills roll in; possible financial differences. The extended family isn't so cute anymore; possible strife. The household rules gets complicated; who does laundry, who watches the kids, what about my career; possible differences in positions with in your new family unit. Fights; have you learned to die to self yet? OR are your fights selfish fights like mine were: ME. ME. ME. ME. ME!? (I still have issues with this!) Friends; who do we hang out with? WAIT, do we get to go out on ladies night anymore? Is that even proper now? Then comes baby in a cradle; first things first-keeping them alive... and perhaps getting a little sleep? Then; rules, expectations, consequences, public school or home school, to spank or not to spank? What about health problems; didn't expect that...What about things not quite going how you might have expected or dreamed...didn't see that coming. Then there is just the daily grind...home from work, time to get dinner on the table! Nope, home from work, time to watch football....OK, little more complicated than expected. And by the way, who picked up the flea meds for the dog and the sour cream, thought you were gonna do that?

Adding corn to my pancakes when no one else likes it but me

Proof is in the Pudding

It is the day after day after day, after year after year after year- ongoing, unconditional support through the trials of this life that make this man the man of character that I adore to my very core. (plus he's cute). He wakes up consistently early and gets his rear end to work without fail-daily and for many, many, many years to support his large family. He comes home, not to TV and a beer and self, but only to make dinner for many, tend to the kids and the household...and these days usually to my physical needs. He gives and gives and gives of himself and without complaint. He is selfless. He is not perfect, let's not get carried away! But he is a man and husband who strives continually and consistency to glorify God in all that he does.

I want to be submissive to this man

I want to honor this man

How many times in my life did I simply hear about THOSE people who are talking about being submissive to their husbands--Hey, "I am woman, hear me roar!!" That's just crazy and unfair....without studying it in the bible, without even going to God about it...

I am honored to submit to my husband. I am honored to understand what God calls me to do. I am honored that God gave me my husband at all.

And chances are if you don't bother to seek it and to understand it, you will never get this part either...what a blessing!

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7

Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you. Hebrews 13:17 NKJV

Agape Love

I choose to love him

Pastor Scott Wright: My Daily Dose

The word Agape used here as well as other places in the New Testament speaks of the deep and abiding affection of God and Christ for each other and for us. And it is also used of us with regard to our relationship with each other as Christians. We see Jesus speaking of this in the Book of John.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13:34-35 NKJV

Agape love is Others-centered rather that Self-centered. It is willing to do whatever is best for the one loved. The thing about Agape love though is that we cannot produce it on our own no matter how much we try. We will always fall short in our own ability to love in this way, and eventually we will draw a line at some point within a relationship and say, "No more." The only possible way we can have an Agape love for another person is by allowing the Holy Spirit to empower us and to fill our hearts with it. It is very much the fruit of God's Spirit within the life of the believer.

Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5 NKJV

Hey Christian, It is important for us to remember that apart from the Holy Spirit, we cannot love one another as we have been commanded by Jesus. When you find yourself in the midst of a problem with someone and you are having a hard time separating the sin from the sinner, remember these two things:

1. There but for the Grace of God, go I. In other words, it could just as easily be us sinning or causing others to stumble, and it is only by God's grace and ability that we aren't.

2. God has already demonstrated His Agape love upon you when He gave His only begotten Son to die for your sin (John 3:16).

Shouldn't we forgive others in the same way God has forgiven us? Shouldn't we show mercy to others in the same way God has shown it to us? We can only do this by His Agape love flowing through us. When we find ourselves struggling in our limited ability to love others, we must allow God to take over. When we do amazing things happen.

Every year he brings me the he first crocus that pops up in the middle of the field

"But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. " 1 Cor 11:3