Maybe I should complain more?

It's been brought to my attention that I don't complain enough.... WAIT...WHAT.......HUH?

This is the day the Lord has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:24 NKJV

First off I don't think my husband would agree!
However I have noticed that recently I have gotten several comments from friends, acquaintances, a couple on my Face Book site that I "act" like I am happy therefore people don't believe or see how sick I am.

OK... (I say long, slow and thoughtfully...) ...I guess I'm seeing the possible contradiction in that...
   

contradiction [kon-truh-dik-shuh n]

noun:

direct opposition between things compared; inconsistency.

 

The Truth Shall Make You Free

Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:31-32 NKJV

Here's the TRUTH..... and I won't apologize about it.

I am happy. I have joy. Apparently is shows. 

But it was when my son and daughter sat by my bed on and off for 4 hours watching me writhe in pain (my husband out of the country) curled up in a fetal ball, contemplating an ER visit AGAIN that my observant and passionate son made a comment to me. He said afterwards: "Maybe your doctors don't believe you when you tell them about all your symptoms and pain because they see your attitude and happiness and you joke with them? Maybe that's why they can't figure stuff out?"

Antidepressants?
HUH.....WHAT?!  OK I will admit, three separate doctors attempted to put me on antidepressants this past year. They all basically commented in the same way, "You are in daily chronic pain and that is really hard, let me give you an antidepressant!" When I tell them that while yes, I have dealt with depression for years-and there are appropriate times for antidepressants- no thanks, because the Lord is my joy and comfort." They basically just stare. Then they say, "OK, that's your choice."

 

 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24

 

Doctors

Only one of my doctors got it-he's a Christian. The others, well, let's just say that I might could have  p o s s i b l y have actually perplexed a few highly intelligent and well educated people! One of my specialists makes comments to me, in a very kind way, like..." What is your higher power doing for you now?" or  he explains how something might go wrong in a human body to me and say...."your higher power must not of thought of that did he?" However I have noticed that he inquires or comments more and more on the HIGHER POWER lately. He even asked my daughter what the bible verse reference was on her shirt. She was able to answer it. (Awesome mom moment). See once a seed is planted the Holy Spirit moves in marvelous ways! My doctor who I respect very much, see his comments never make me think twice about my God. But I can actually visualize his highly intelligent, contemplating, inquisitive wheels spinning. Once again that brings me joy. Sorry people.

 

God's beauty and blessings are everywhere. Open your eyes!

And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us,
And establish the work of our hands for us;
Yes, establish the work of our hands. Psalm 90:17 NKJV

I don't need to list the bad stuff. At least right now.

I was going to list out what some of my daily suffering looks like. But I have decided that I don't need to. I cry. I get sad. I hurt. It's a moment to moment struggle. I even get envious of people who "went through," an illness but are fine now-because mine doesn't end. But see the Lord is my rock. And my God has given me joy. I'm gonna honor that. I'm gonna delight in that.