He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.
He has put a new song in my mouth—
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the Lord.
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the Lord.
Psalm 40: 2:3 NKJV
This cake is a symbol of the new song that God has put in me having taken me out of the miry pit. I have literally been taken down for the better part of the past 2 years. The progression of my chronic illness has taken me from ministry, missions, busy mom and home school mom, type A personality/behavior to basically non-functional and being in bed and sick. I'm talking from traveling on 21 hour flights to Mozambique leading a team to not being able to cook dinner for my family. Savage loss for me. While I am NOT physically better, in fact I am worse, I have been blessed immeasurably.
OH, BUT THE UNEXPECTED BLESSINGS
As you might have gathered if you are following my blogs, despite all that I have lost I have more joy and am happier than I have ever been in my life. As I seek the words to describe what I have reaped along my journey, I realize that they are all words that describe my beautiful Lord:
Whimsical, indescribable, empowering, delivering, overwhelming, restoring, unfathomable. Loving.
GOD.
The cup of blessing which we bless, is it not the communion of the blood of Christ? The bread which we break, is it not the communion of the body of Christ? 1 Corinthian 10:16 NKJV
My husband said: "It will look different for you, make it happen. You can do it!" The Holy Spirit speaking through him to me many months ago. Seemingly simple theory: yet monumental to me. I've never been one to be told, "You can't do it!" In high school I was the president of the Art Club. I set out to build a super double decker paper mache' float on wheels for the Thanksgiving parade. The teacher told me it won't work. I gathered volunteers and set out to prove her wrong. We used wire, clay, wood, paper mache', lots of tape and glue, etc. It was huge, it was gorgeous, it worked, it held up throughout the long parade. My "win," was my teacher telling me that she was wrong. This has happened through out my life time. Right up to 7 years ago-I was also told by someone at church that there was NO WAY that a mural I designed would work. It wasn't feasible. It had 3-dimensional stuff on it, etc. I tend to think like no other-always outside the box! That did it. With many volunteers it was a huge success. It was huge to me to learn that God gifted me with talents to use for His glory and His purposes. The world had me believing that since I did not process skills such as MATH, SCIENCE, etc. You know, the skills to be successful in this life...that I was stupid and worthless.
The EXCITING and REVOLUTIONARY LIFE CHANGING NEWS THAT I RECEIVED IS THAT GOD GIVES YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED IN ORDER TO DO HIS PLAN AND PURPOSE FOR YOUR LIFE. HOW EXCITING!
NOT ME
Here's the difference between then and now. Then I accepted the accolades. I was so good and so talented! I was even better than sliced bread! It made me feel self-worth. Here's the crazy thing. The WORTH WAS ALWAYS FLEETING. I had to create and produce more and more and more to be worthy. In the worlds eyes. God already deemed me worthy, without even having to do anything. Little did I realize. When I left my beloved church home of 17 years, they missed me of course, I did ALL the decorating, all the murals, designs, banquets and more. My works were fantabulous. They haven't called. They haven't checked in on me during one of the most trying times in me and my family's life. Seventeen years. They didn't want me, they wanted what I could do. In my life I have learned that the more I do, the better I do, the more worthy I am.
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| Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:16 NKJV |
When I dropped the cake off at the Calvary Fall Fest I stayed in the car. Partly because I'm handicapped. Mostly because I didn't want to hear the "awwwwes and oooohs..." My daughters though I was crazy. They said everyone was gathering around it. I am still learning how to give God all the glory. How do I create like I am called and wired to do and Glorify ONLY God along the way? My new friends at Calvary had no idea I was an artist. So this you could say was my coming out. They do know I'm the one on the crutch that trembles.
BLESSINGS GALORE
I sat quietly at the tables by the music last night. I really should have been home in bed. But the blessings of being at a Calvery event like this outweigh all else. The pastors self-less wife found me amongst thousands of people and said something to the effect of I knew you did that cake! Then guess what....she went on to ask about ME. My pain. My progress. How was I. She was in charge of the fest for goodness sake, she didn't have that kinda time! But she reached out to me. God ALWAYS knows what I need and when I need it. She didn't ask for more works from me. She didn't set me up to create the next big thing at the church. She asked about me.
DEDICATED TO PASTOR RODNEY
With my new life in coping I'm trying to set one goal a week for myself. MY ENTIRE GOAL THIS WEEK WAS TO PAINT THIS CAKE. I ended up in bed the first part of the week. UUUGGGHHH! But my faith was strong. Worse case, I didn't paint the cake and they would get a good sheet cake for dessert at the event. But as God is always good, my kids set up the paints, the medium, the supplies all over the table, they ran into stores while I sat in the car (to not use us my energy, my fatigue is off the charts), they CLEANED IT ALL UP for me! And more. But it turned out to be best case. I have committed to do nothing art wise unless led by the Holy Spirit. I had no design. No plan. Just a burning desire to do it. The design flowed through my arms, mind and body like a bubbling river. AND GET THIS (AWESOME GOD STORY), the day before I was to paint, I hemmed and hawed about using my energy to stop at Whole Foods. My stomach stopped working AGAIN, I thought perhaps I could find something there that would I could eat. Lo and behold-MY PASTOR ran up and hugged me. I hope you don't get tired of hearing this, but God ALWAYS know WHAT I need and WHEN I NEED IT. I discreetly slipped in that I needed something to "write," for something I was doing for the fest. He immediately said, "Jesus is the light of the world!" I had struggled for week on what to write on this cake. Now I had the answer. What my pastor didn't know was that this was to be on a cake that was a gift from me to to him for all the blessings that I have received through him (all glory to God) and the church and his family over the past year and a half. A cake would never truly reveal my gratitude. Hopefully in time my heart will. His birthday was on the day of the event-THUS, his birthday cake!! So happy birthday Pastor Rodney! 
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| Ellee (17 yr old daughter) rolling out the fondant for me. |
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| Getting the cake there without tripping!! THEY DID IT! |
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| Macy (16 yr old daughter) kneading the | massive amounts of fondant--tough work! My son helped too! |
I CRIED IN THE TUB
I implore you, please do NOT feel sorry for me....
PLEASE feel happy for me!
One of my health issues is not being able to get warm. So when I got home from spending the evening in the chilly October night, a hot bath was in serious order. I slipped in and ENDED UP CRYING LIKE BABY. My pain was near debilitating. My joints were hot and screaming. I was swollen and my tremors were at top notch rockin' and rollin', which for me produces frustration and different kinda pain and exhaustion. I just kept thinking, "Yep, not like before, but different....but what blessings I have reaped! The crying was also for that of joy. Joy that the Lord has given me daily. 
For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God. For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: 1 Peter 2:20-22
I WILL ENJOY THE LORD, THE TOP BLESSING
"Bible for America," What Does It Mean To Be Blessed by God? To bless is related to to consecrate. Both imply an act of recognizing and/or declaring and devoting something to have a particular purpose or holiness. If a father blesses his son's decision in a matter, we mean that the father supports and acknowledges the decision.
Similarly, when a person or group blesses God, they declare their
approval and recognition of God's value, holiness, and
"worshippableness" in their own "private" world. It is similar to, but
distinct from, praise.
Suppose you pray for a better job and get a higher paying position.
Certainly, you thank the Lord for it. But what happens when the new work
environment presents some difficulties? If you realize that God didn’t
just bless you with a new job but even more, with Christ in His
unlimitedness living within you, you will contact the Lord in a deeper
way. You will realize that He as the life-giving Spirit dwells in your spirit. Instead of praying for Him to take away the problems or to give you another job, you’ll open your heart to Him and asked Him
to be your wisdom and strength to face the troubles at work.  |
| Two day process. Had no idea what was gonna flow out of me!! |
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