I Quit Part Two; The Fried Twinkie and Jesus

Is it OK to wear jammie pants to the flea market? YES, when you look 10 months pregnant. That's my answer and I'm sticking to it.

The brilliant life altering difference.

Many years ago with the type of day I had when I wrote the, "I Quit," blog post and what resulted afterward is such a life-altering contrast that I feel led to document it.

So here goes; I wrote the title, ""I Quit," to be sassy. I hope when you read it, you got the message that despite the struggles and the pain and the on-going frustration that: I DID NOT QUIT and I DON'T QUIT.

But many years ago....I would have quit. 
Many years ago an episode like that would surely result in perhaps;  a series of randomly jagged knife patterns swiftly but carelessly patterned into my arm or leg. Perhaps several weeks sunk deep into the pits of depression and "woe is me," behavior. It might have come in the form of anger towards others or maybe thrusting glass kitchen wares viciously and violently against the wall.  Sometimes it came out in fear, rendering me stuck in the house for days in panic that someone would attack me if I go for a walk. The list goes deeper. It gets messy. But you get the picture by now.

That was before my true relationship with the Lord.

He loves me so much He died for me. He called me to come to Him. Then He showed me what to do.

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 
Matthew 11:28 NKJV
 

Latte and Fried Twinkie. Don't tell my liver specialist.

For years I resisted Him.  My way was better. 

I was blind. Now I see. That song is right.

 So now the difference is.....

I get down. I feel pain. I get angry. I struggle, feel sad, get frustrated...you name it. I go in earnestly to God. In fact, I was already with God even when things were going hunky dory. He always knows what I need. Always. 



  
 
So here's what happened. 

Friday:
Spent week in bed. Stomach blew up (on top of other health issues) AGAIN. Day at Duke with Specialist. Frustrating news. Lack of Answers. More tests. Same pain. Nothing changed.

Saturday:  Unexplainable burst of energy. Forced myself to get butt out of bed. Here are some photos of my unbelievably blessed day. Photos and words won't begin to explain how I needed the conversation and the gentle interaction with my husband and kids plus the loving care. The sunshine outside that radiated against the trees and the intricate glass figurines at the Flea Market were like massive doses of Heroine to my psyche.  The unexplained NC warm weather day in January after the Arctic Blast we had last week was bazaar. As I sit here I am blessed by the rain that dances sporadically in song upon my sky light. God knows rain soothes my soul. And yet yesterday the weather was perfect for a stroll to get outside and away from my sick bed that threatens to cast me as a helpless victim.

Something to think about when experiencing the fantastical fun of sitting in a wheelchair!
Being pushed in a wheel chair comes with issues you might not realize....for instance...
1. When your husband continually pushes you extremely close to BUTTS.  I try to keep quiet.  I try to be gracious and thankful that he is willing to push me at all without complaint. But last night at the dinner table I could no longer hold my tongue. My kids had quit the chuckle about the various up close visuals and near farting escapades that I have experienced. There are a lot of unique butts out there. Just saying.

2. My husband seems to have a habitual tenancy to say, "Let's look at this," then go on to "park," me opposite facing what we are supposed to be looking at. It's bazaar. But I guess until you're in the "seat," it's something you don't think about!
3. Sometimes I get up to peruse with my crutch. I have turned around to find wheelchair and husband missing. "Oops," is usually the response. Good thing we laugh a lot. Good thing he's so good looking.

To top this day off I woke up from nap to my son having made dinner. Chicken Marsala. Does it get any better??

Add caption

Here's the THANG: It's NOT ME. I've proved it. Look at my history. I tried to do this on my own for many years.  I always had a lot of plans. I read lots of self-help books. Never worked. It's God. I need Him. 

All the joy I experience is because of the LORD. 

It wasn't the twinkies, the sunshine, the butts, etc. 

The joy came from within. 

I felt it before I left the house. Mattered not what the day brought. All that other stuff was like silky smooth icing sprinkle bonuses set on top of the vanilla cupcake gift of true joy from within.

Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.

 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. 

John 15:4-6 NKJV

I Desire Feedback! 
I have made a commitment to be honest and transparent. How am I doing? Positive feedback is ALWAYS good. But I also grow and stay real by your insights. So kind constructive feedback is appreciated ALWAYS. I seek to Glorify the Lord in all this. I am human. I don't always do it right. I have been called to reveal my journey. I have a burning desire to share my story and my daily walk with great urgency in hopes that even one person will reap from how I have received GREAT JOY that can only comes from the Lord!