I'm starting to get my vicious migraines again.
My migraines haven't put me in the ER since last June-until now. Last Wednesday, you called it, back in the ER. Now, As I write this, I have a level 4-5 migraine. For those of you who don't know, doctors and nurses are always asking for the level of pain that you have, one to ten, ten being the worst possible. Why am I out of bed writing this you ask...because I've been in bed for the past 3 days and I'm reprimanding my head, because I thought perhaps if I act like I don't have a migraine maybe it will come true and because I have a deep desire to share this story-which always means (to me) that the Holy Spirit is prompting me.
I had an appointment yesterday to get the first of three Orthovisc injections in my knee.
Come hell or high water I was gonna get there-even with a migraine. They told me that there was a chance that it might help my knee. I was excited.So my awesome daughter drove me. Because driving her sick momma to the doctor is exactly what she wants to be doing on her spring break. She lovingly carried my belongings, helped me in the car and much more. Most of all she cheered me up with her silliness and joyfulness that she carries with her daily.
The doctor comes in and tells me that I'm not getting the injection because no amount of injections will ever help my knee.
Naturally I went for my crutch and aimed it at his crotch.
(in my mind). THAT would have been good to know BEFORE I got my migrainish self out of bed and hobbled to the car. He was like 7 feet tall. He loomed over me because he was standing and I was sitting. I asked him to sit so we could be on the same level. I don't think that went over well, he paused, as if to say, "No one has ever talked to me that way!) For goodness sake, you're not better than me, just sit.
Between my sniffles I asked him WHY????? WHAT will help?????? And you all are NOT gonna believe this...he said, "I think it's autoimmune, you need a rheumatologist." Side note, I've been to 4 rheumatologists who all told me that while I have many symptoms of an autoimmune disease, it is NOT in my blood work, therefore I don't have it. He said I will need a knee replacement soon, but I am too young to get one now. I asked him if I was too young to be on a crutch for 2 years. It was like a child sassing his parent. He looked at me as if I was getting ready to go to the corner and touch my nose to the wall.
(My daughter and I documented how many places and times we could fine this shabby chic aqua marine color at my appointment. It's ALWAYS fun to be with her!)
There was a lovely but distraught woman in a wheelchair who started telling us her life story. You know what I'm talking about-Great Uncle Harry is drinking again and BettyLu is going through her dresser stealing stuff while she's in knee rehab, and her dog ripped up her lottery ticket that would have won her a million dollars! I spotted a tear in her eye. So I hobbled over to her and gave her a huge bear hug. She put a vice grip on me. That's when she broke down. My daughter and I shared how Jesus is our hope. My sweet, self less daughter offered this lady her torn up, duct taped bible that she carries around with her wherever she goes. There's more to this story, but I will keep it sweetly between us.
When we left, my daughter said, "Momma we didn't come here for your knee, we came here for that woman."WOW. Out of the mouth of babes.
I tell you all about the woman cautiously because my goal is not to brag about what great deed we did. My goal is to tell you my story so you can see that God works in mysterious ways and that we should always keep our eyes open to them. I was being selfish, thinking all about me and my knee. Meanwhile God had a task for me that I could have very easily missed.
I ask God every day to help me to die to self .
I need to open my eyes wider!
Open my eyes,
that I may see
Wondrous things
from Your law.
Psalm 119:18
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