GET UP!

The pain is so intense I find myself grinding my already ragged teeth. It hurts. I want my mommy. I groan. I whimper in my own bedroom or bathroom. Each moment and every movement creates a fire and intense jabbing. It reminds me of the sermon last week about moaning and how the bible says if you have no words left when praying you can actually groan and the Holy Spirit will fill in the blanks. It never crossed my simple mind that while I'm doing it.... that God is working it out for me and hearing my needs. I know without a shadow of a doubt that He is there for me, but for some reason, this information helps to soothe my battered mind and body.

Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groaning which cannot be uttered. Romans 8:26 NKJV

My life is such a paradox of pain and joy.
I feel so much joy. God consistently and faithfully provides me the vision to see my blessings and recognize them with a sense of feeling warm and prickly, yet I can't think of a second that I don't feel dreadful pain. Yes, sometimes the pain lessens, but it never goes away. I groan in my sleep, I groan in the shower, I groan in my car, I groan in a tower. (Oops, got a little Dr. Seuss there for a minute!) I creatively suck it in when someone is close enough to hear, but believe me, there's groaning going on, on the inside. But as God always knows what I need when I need it and when I can almost bare no more....He shows His face in the most unbelievable, unexpected ways that I didn't see coming. Like the zoo trip. So much fun! Despite their older ages, I got to enjoy a few of my children being intrigued by the animals, the birds humming and loudly beckoning me to hear their message, laying my head back on my husbands belly as he pushed me in my chair, the gentle breeze tussling the trees  and, of course, taking photos. I could have been down in the dumps for having to ride in a wheel chair, and sometimes I am. I actually started to reel out the reasons why the zoo was not a good idea for me. But I stopped myself. Instead I chose to rejoice in the fact that I was up and out and alive!! Am boy, did I reap from my choice!

Today I was reading in the book of Joshua and I came across, 

"So the Lord said to Joshua: "Get up! Why do you lie thus on your face?" Joshua 7:10 

That spoke to me! Get up! Don't feel sorry for myself! Don't lie in bed groaning! Get up!! 

Praise God! 

And every time I do get up, I am so very blessed.