Sometimes the pain slithers out of my mouth....

The pain is near excruciating. I laid in bed for over an hour contemplating about what route to take. My upper body is trembling. Tremoring  a little more than usual. My knees ache, my ankles ache, and I just barely pulled out of a level 8 migraine earlier in the night. I got double vision literally one hour before a sudden house shaking thunder storm. A wet washcloth, meds and calmness quieted it down to a bad headache. Happy to skirt an ER visit for a cock-tale of meds and 3-14 days in bed. It probably didn't help that I had serious dental work earlier in the day. That's always tough on my body. But, man oh man, how the pain in my hands, my fingers, my wrist, my arms, my toes and elbows throb with a vengeance. My fingers thick like sausages. I have to chuckle as I type that because the supposedly best rheumatologist in the state told me that they, in deed,  are not swelling. I should have asked him when his rear end was ever laying next to me at 2:00am in the middle of the night as I writhed in pain?! Loving the Lord kept my mouth shut. I lay there consistent in sliding my legs side to side, that keeps them temporarily deal-able. I'm careful though not to twist either though, as that would be the end of my knees. But my hands! The pain burns like a hot iron through each finger, all 27 bones, each knuckle, my wrists, my forearms, my elbows....  There's nothing left to take. I swallowed my non-habit forming pain meds. I can't have more for 9 hours. Took something to sleep as well, but this kind of pain always wakes me up. I finally force my tired bones to get out of the bed. It takes me a good amount of stretching and moving inch by inch to be sure that everything is working. Falling would be the last thing I need. I check my temp. It's normal. A little weird. It doesn't go to 100.7 until about 9am or so. I'm a bit bloated, but no diarrhea-YAY! That goes on the happy list~that in itself, gets exhausting. Even though I eat like a tiny field mouse, I bloat like a 12 month pregnant cow. Hey after years and years of trying to lose weight, I finally am doing just that! No stinkin' thinkin! I chose to look at it in a positive way. And thinking on the positive side, Thank God I made it through church tonight-as once again, God sustains me yet another day. I did however, fuss at my husband, as imperfect as I am. Sometimes the pain slithers out of my mouth. The systemic poison ivy is at a calm itch, that's good. I limp around the pitch dark, quiet house. WOW, so quiet! Except for the leftover drizzle from the crazy storm on the skylight, which is calming. 

The occasional squeak from the fireplaces (that sometimes scare new residents' pants off)is going on. They warned us that the house was haunted when we bought it, but no superstitions for me. Then there's the over excited crickets and frogs singin' their melodies outside. It's all pretty soothing now that I focus on it. Perhaps God wanted me to get up and be softly comforted by His amazing works. I can't help but to ponder how much fun the Lord must have had in His massive art studio applying long eyelashes on low-line Angus and miniscule feet on crickets. All for our delight! Perhaps not basking in the pain cave was on His agenda for me. HHHmmmnnnnn. Maybe He got me up to spend time alone with Him like I often do in the middle of the night. Now that I think about it my house has been overwhelmingly loud these days. My mind full to overflowing. Don't get me wrong-I LOVE my house full of people, especially my kids!!! I can't count the times I miss the organized chaos of 7 people or more roaming my precious 110 year old house that God so graciously gifted us with. My priceless children are slowly but surely flying, no- soaring from my protective nest. It's been hard for me. I flashback to preschool and my simplistic thoughts of how 18 years was a long time. What a fool I had been to arrogantly blow off all the well meaning/meddling old farts who warned me not to blink. Many thought me a fool for snagging all my bundles of joy out of school to keep them under my wing for another 15 years. God was right. Home schooling was the right thing for us to do. If only I could teach letters in shaving cream , go bowling on exam days, discipline like a lioness, play games like Life, Apples to Apples and Spoons and just enjoy them for another 15 years! Now I'm the older fart warning the young moms not to blink.

Tangent running. I'm the best.

My youngest is only 15-praise God! And I'm praising God daily that most of them are under my roof for the summer. (And listen, we STILL plays games together!!)  But back to the subject, that creates quite the organized and sometimes the disorganized chaos that I'm speaking of. I have found it more difficult, BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE, to spend quiet time with the Lord. I don't ever, though, not ever, forget what I have when I have it. I used to. But I learned the hard way to appreciate things and count my blessings daily. The joy of these people rummaging through my pantry, spilling pineapple juice on the floor, cluttering the doorway with a multitude of shoes and laundry piled high-is NOTHING BUT A BLESSING. The dogs think it one big party, so they are, "in for the ride," as well. Polly and Daisy now run faster, play harder and lick wetter. Quiet time might be rare. But I'll gladly grab up and bask in these crazy moments, the laughter, the long talks on the screen porch, the intellectual speak between each other, trying out new restaurants, going to church together, and so much more. I will marinate in these moments as best I can so that the memories and the bonding turn endless.

Yep, the pain has calmed to a comfortable 5-6 on the pain scale. The Lord works in miraculous and mysterious ways. My body still moans. The pain is never gone, but this hurt I can now tolerate. 

Calming tea, time with God, quiet surroundings and enjoyable stream writing, I think I can go get a few blinks now.